


Just Sex

by Cithara



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, HP: EWE, M/M, Post-War, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 14:17:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13953363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cithara/pseuds/Cithara
Summary: Remus and Draco have a long-standing arrangement that revolves solely around sex. Is it an arrangement that can endure, or is it bound to become something more, despite the damaged souls of the two men involved?





	Just Sex

**Author's Note:**

> I adore this pairing but this is my first time writing it. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Just Sex

Draco finished buttoning up his shirt and cast a look around the room for his shoes. One had made its way under the dressing table beneath the window, but he couldn't find its mate.

"It's over here," came Remus' voice, and Draco turned around to see the man holding his shoe.

"Cheers," said Draco, taking it from him and going to retrieve the other one. He perched on the edge of the bed and put them on while Remus lay back against the pillows, the duvet pooling around his waist.

"Rushing off?" he asked.

"I don't get long for lunch, and things are pretty busy at the moment," Draco replied, getting up and retrieving his outer robe from where he had previously slung it over the bedpost. He threw it around his shoulders and fastened the clasp, looking up at Remus, holding the man's gaze for a moment before he said, "Well, I'll see you then."

He headed for the door, stopping when he heard Remus say, "You don't always have to leave, you know."

Draco paused, his fingers brushing the door handle, before looking over his shoulder and saying, "It's just sex, Remus. There's not much point in hanging around after it's over."

He let himself out of the small flat that Remus rented in Diagon Alley and made his way through the crowds of people milling around. He didn't like large groups, and he kept as close to the buildings as he could as he walked.

He hadn't been lying when he said that he had to get back to work and he walked briskly to the Leaky Cauldron, keeping his head down as he made his way to the floo. He was not the most sociable of creatures at the best of times, but after spending time with Remus, he wanted more than usual to be left alone.

He flooed back to the Ministry, stepping out of the flames elegantly, nodding to those he recognised as he moved through the atrium. He decided to forgo the lifts that always made him feel a little queasy in favour of the stairs, keeping his pace quick until he reached his floor.

He moved to his desk and removed his outer robe, folding it neatly over the back of his chair. He took a seat and glanced at his workspace, shifting a stack of papers so that they aligned with the corner of the desk and arranging his pot of quills so that the quills were more evenly fanned out. He heard a soft chuckle behind him and he turned to see Ron stepping off the elevator, two takeaway coffees in his hand.

"You're such a weirdo," he said as he took a seat in the desk opposite Draco's, which was indeed opposite in every sense of the word.

"One of these days I'll give in and tidy yours. It drives me mad having to look at that mess all day," Draco said, smoothing his collar down.

"I know where everything is, there's a carefully organised system at work here," Ron replied, reaching over and placing one of the coffees on Draco's desk.

Draco smiled. "Thanks. My shout next time."

"Make it something stronger and you're on," Ron said with a grin.

"Stop trying to get me to join your Friday night pub sessions," Draco said, rolling his eyes as he began to thumb through the stack of paperwork he had to get through that afternoon.

"It'd do you good to get out once in a while," Ron said gently. "Besides, Harry misses you, so does Gin."

Draco looked up and saw the look of concern in his friend's face. The acerbic reply that had readied itself on his tongue retreated and he sighed, saying, "I'll see them soon. Anyway, I would have thought Harry was too busy living in marital bliss with you to worry about anything else," he finished, injecting his words with a levity he didn't feel.

Ron smiled and twisted the plain wedding band on his finger. "It doesn't stop him from missing his friends," he said softly.

Draco looked down at his perfectly manicured fingernails and took a deep breath. "Maybe next time," he said quietly. "One Friday when I'm not buried under mountains of paperwork."

"Drake, we all have mountains of paperwork, but most of us put it aside at the end of the day and go home."

Draco straightened the cuffs of his shirt and reached out to turn his coffee cup so that the logo was facing him and said, "Let it go, Ron."

He heard the sigh from across the table, but he knew that the man would do as he had been asked and let the matter lie. It was not a new argument between them, nor indeed would it be the last time the subject would be raised, but Ron was not so foolish as to push.

Draco pushed an errant lock of hair behind his ear and reached for the file that he had been ploughing through before his lunch break. He and Ron had spent the last three years working for the legal side of the Auror department. After the war, neither man had had the stomach to continue chasing after dark wizards and adopting the lifestyle that that brought with it, but they wanted to do their bit to rebuild things and to make a valuable contribution to their world.

They were now the joint heads of their department, and both men worked hard, but it was a point of contention between them that Draco seemed to have no life outside of the job. It suited Draco fine; he loved his job and he was proud of the work he did, he saw no reason to pursue anything beyond it.

He heard Ron clear his throat and he looked up to see the redhead holding a file, a slight flush of colour creeping up his neck. "I don't know whether you want to deal with this or if you'd rather let me take it, but…your father's parole hearing has been set."

Draco looked at the file in Ron's hands for a moment before he said quietly, "When?"

"The 25th June."

"Fuck," Draco breathed, "I didn't think it would be soon."

"Drake, I can handle all of this, you don't need to concern yourself with any of it."

"No," Draco said with a firm shake of his head, "I'll deal with it."

He extended his hand and Ron paused for a moment, looking conflicted, before he handed the file over. Draco could feel the man's eyes on him as he flipped it open and glanced through the preliminary notes, feeling an uncomfortable coil of tension work itself into the pit of his stomach.

"Rehabilitated," Draco read, his voice hard. "I don't bloody think so. There's no force on this earth that could alter that bastard."

"He doesn't have much hope of being granted parole from what I've read. Everything he did before the war, and during it, will ensure that he's kept in Azkaban for the foreseeable. You know how it is, the survivors don't want to see Death Eaters released, they want them to pay."

"Still," said Draco with a sigh, "if anyone can fool a parole board, he can. Well," he said with a steely look of resolve, "not if I can help it."

* * *

The following week was a fraught and difficult one. There were still a couple months to go before Lucius' hearing, but Draco was determined to be as thorough as possible in order to make sure that his father stayed festering in prison as he deserved. He stayed late every evening, although that was not a new occurrence, and he arrived before anyone else, sometimes even beating the cleaning crew.

He worked hard on every case that crossed his desk, it was a matter of personal pride for him, but this was different. The idea of his father being a free man again was one that sent his senses reeling, causing his palms to sweat and his skin to prickle uncomfortably. He wouldn't allow it, not when there was still breath left in his body.

By the time Friday rolled around, he was horribly tense and wound up, and as he sat at his desk, he decided that he would be paying another visit to Diagon Alley that night. He stayed in the office until gone nine, Ron leaving at six and stopping to place a hand on his shoulder on the way out, saying softly,

"Please don't stay too late, love. Go home and get some sleep."

He gathered up the transcripts of the interviews he had carried out that week, ones he had conducted with some of the people who had suffered at his father's hands and who were speaking against any decision to parole the man. There were many others that he had yet to speak to, and while it wasn't a task that he relished, he knew it was a necessary one.

He tidied his desk, marking the things that would need his immediate attention on Monday morning, and slipped quietly from the office, using the stairs to make his way down to the atrium. He stepped into one of the many floos and transported himself to the Leaky Cauldron, stepping out of the fireplace and brushing the soot from his robes.

He nodded briefly to the barman then moved through the pub and out into the street. It was busy, as usual, and Draco kept his head down as he moved through the crowds of Friday night revellers. Remus' flat was in a much quieter street, and he felt a sense of relief wash through him as he came to stand in front of the olive-green door, knocking loudly and waiting for the man to answer.

Remus opened the door and stood there for a moment before he moved aside and let Draco in. Draco moved through to the living room, taking off his cloak and slinging it on the armchair in the corner. He heard Remus enter the room behind him and he turned around, closing the distance between them and crushing his lips against Remus' before the man had a chance to say anything.

It was always better when nothing was said, words just got in the way, complicated things. He didn't want to talk, didn't want to think, he just wanted Remus' hands on him, wanted the man's body pressing down on him, making him forget all the things that he wasn't able to out in the real world.

His kisses were fierce, bruising and intense, ones that would leave his lips sore and dry the next day. Remus was responding in kind and had pulled Draco's body up against his own, his strong hands hot against Draco's back. Draco manoeuvred them backwards into the bedroom, pulling on Remus' neck as he did so. He collapsed them onto the bed and Remus' lips went to his throat, Draco arching backwards to allow him to attack his flesh with vigour.

Remus' hands were on his clothes, wrenching the buttons open, clawing at his exposed skin. He loved this, he loved being taken with such heat and abandon, and he loved surrendering all control to the man whose feral nature Draco thrived on. Sure hands divested him of his trousers and his underwear, and before he had time to register it, Remus' hot mouth was wrapped around his prick.

He gripped the bedsheets and moaned softly as Remus took him to the back of his throat, sucked him, licked him, did wicked things with his tongue that chased all thoughts from his mind. His breathing was laboured and he couldn't stop the moan from escaping his lips as two lube-coated fingers breached him. The sensation of Remus' mouth on his cock and the man's fingers inside him was beautifully overwhelming, and he focused on nothing but the pleasure he was deriving from it.

A third finger was added, and Remus stretched and scissored, preparing him with the same care and attention that he showed each time. Draco didn't like to focus too much on that; he preferred to think of how rough and passionate the man could be, not to consider how, despite the aggression with which their encounters were often carried out, Remus had never once hurt him.

The fingers were removed and Draco turned to flip over onto his stomach, halted briefly by Remus saying, "You don't always have to face the other way you know."

"It's better this way," Draco said gruffly, hearing the jangle of Remus' belt and waiting while the man slicked his prick with lubricant.

Remus' hands came to grip his hips tightly and he felt the man's erection prod at his entrance. He was entered in one hard, firm thrust, and he bit his lip at the sweet mix of pain and pleasure. Remus began moving, setting a familiar and firm rhythm, slamming into him as he dug his fingers into Draco's skin. There would be bruises in the morning, there always were, but Draco didn't mind them, he rather wore them proudly as badges that he had survived another night being fucked mercilessly by a man who had all the instincts of a wolf.

"Harder," Draco moaned, and Remus complied, leaning a little further against Draco's back, his breath hot against Draco's ear. "Fuck yes," Draco whispered. "Fuck me," he said breathlessly, and a hand snaked from his hip to twine itself in his hair, gripping painfully and pulling Draco's head back slightly.

"This is what you want?" Remus asked, his voice harsh as he moved in and out of Draco's pliant body.

"Yes," Draco keened. "Just like that."

"Beg me," Remus said, pulling Draco's hair a little harder.

"Please," Draco said, trying to catch his breath. "Please Remus, please fuck me."

He could think of nothing but the fingers grasping his hair, the hand that was clenched on his hip, and the beautiful cock that was slamming into him harder and harder the more he begged. He felt his pleasure build, heard himself cry out as Remus angled his feral thrusts to hit his prostate, and before he could gather himself, he was coming hard, shooting his release all over the bedclothes and letting a low groan escape his lips.

Remus continued to thrust into him, using his body until Draco felt the man tense, felt the hand on his hip tighten as the man released himself inside him, then emitted a long, shuddering breath. They were both still for a moment, the only sound in the room their heavy breathing.

Remus' hand left his hair, and the other loosened its grip on his hip, rubbing the abused skin in soothing circles. Draco closed his eyes and wanted to bark at the man to stop it, to remove himself from his body and leave him alone, but part of him relished the feel of the man's weight pressing down on him and the tender kiss that was placed to the back of his neck. The kiss was always the same, always gentle and soft, always in the same spot where his shoulder met his neck, and Draco had never quite understood why he hadn't told Remus to pack it in.

Remus withdrew from his body carefully and cast a quick _Scourgify_ over them both, while Draco told himself that he didn't feel bereft at the loss the strong body pressing against his own. He pulled himself up from the bed, his muscles aching and his arse undeniably sore, but the pain the following day would be a welcome distraction, as he didn't have work to occupy his thoughts.

He gathered his clothing and dressed with care, smoothing down his shirt and realising that Remus had ripped a couple of buttons and made a small tear in the seam on the arm in the process of getting him out of it. He allowed himself a small smile. He wouldn't repair the shirt, he would hang it in his wardrobe and let it remind him of the encounter, of the passion that Remus felt for him that he practically had to tear him out of his clothes.

"Do you want a drink?" Remus asked, and Draco looked up to see that the man was fully-clothed once again.

"I should go," Draco said, although he had nowhere to go and nothing to do other than to return to his quiet little cottage and drive himself mad with his own company.

Remus nodded, as though he had suspected the answer would be so, and said, "Very well. I thought you might…want a little company."

Draco arched an eyebrow and said, "I just had your company."

Remus smiled that strange little smile of his and said, "There are other kinds of company I can offer."

"Perhaps another time," Draco said, moving back out into the living room.

Remus followed and Draco could feel the man's eyes on him as he retrieved his cloak and slung it around his shoulders. "I heard about your father's hearing," he said softly and something unpleasant twisted in Draco's stomach.

He turned around to face Remus, trying to keep his face impassive and the man continued, "I saw Harry a few days ago, he told me."

Draco nodded and said in his most business-like voice, "He won't get out, not if I have anything to do with it."

"Harry said that Ron thought the chances of it were slim to none. I don't doubt he'll be sampling the hospitality of Azkaban for a few more years yet."

"You can damn well bet he will," Draco said with a growl that he couldn't quite hold in. "I'd kill him with my own hands before I let him walk free."

"Draco…" Remus said softly, but Draco shook his head and looked away.

"Another few weeks and it'll be over. There's no need to discuss it."

Remus sighed and said, "Are you sure you won't have that drink?"

Draco couldn't deny that he was tempted. The idea of staying in the cosy flat with a man that he found…appealing to say the least was an idea that he had entertained more than once, but he just couldn't let himself. There was a part of him that screamed at him to let himself have this small thing, but there was an even larger part that denied him.

"No, I'd best go. I'll see you…probably next week."

Remus shook his head and said, "Next week's no good…full moon."

"Oh," Draco said quietly, stamping down the feeling of disappointment that was trying to creep up on him. "Are…are the transformations any easier?"

Remus put his hands in his pockets and said with a wry smile, "That's a relative term. Severus has tweaked the Wolfsbane so that I don't actually transform anymore. I have three days of flu-like symptoms instead, and I'm all but bed-ridden…but…at least I'm human."

"Is that…is that better?" Draco asked.

Remus shrugged. "In some ways."

There was silence for a minute, Draco suddenly wishing more than ever that he could ignore his own mind and stay, stay with the man who could make him scream and yet placed tender kisses to his skin when it was all over, to stay with the man whose gentle eyes he was never quite able to meet. He couldn't though, it was too terrifying a prospect.

"I'll see you in a couple of weeks then," he said quietly, then apparated from the spot.

He transported himself half a mile from his cottage. It was late April and although the sun had long since set, it was strangely mild. Draco was more than content to walk the rest of the way, strolling leisurely and enjoying the quiet.

He lived in the middle of nowhere, a choice that had been deliberate. He hated the noise and bustle of cities, and he couldn't have lived in London if his life depended on it. He liked the countryside, he liked the peace and quiet, and he liked being left alone. He had no neighbours to speak of, apart from the farm a couple of miles away, and they were content to let him keep himself to himself. Very occasionally he would have Harry and Ron over, but he guarded his little haven jealously and he wasn't at ease sharing it.

He arrived and felt the wards give as he entered the perimeter, the front door opening as he came within a foot of it. He cast a casual hand towards the room and several lanterns sprang into life, bathing the sweet little sitting room in an inviting glow. He divested himself of his cloak and hung it up on the peg next to the door, then made his way over to the cabinet in the corner of the room and poured himself a large glass of wine.

He took a seat in one of the squishy armchairs and toed off his boots, leaning back and taking a sip of his wine. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing as he felt the tension creep back into his body again. Being with Remus, being underneath him as he moved inside him chased all that tension away, and in those moments when the man's hands or mouth were on him, his oppressive thoughts were bullied into retreating.

It had begun years ago, during the war. They were just two souls looking for an outlet, for relief, and Draco had latched onto the arrangement greedily. The first time Remus had taken him had been in Grimmauld Place, when Draco was staying there after fleeing from his father.

He had expected to be turned away, to be cast out onto the street, but Harry, with his enduring faith in people, had welcomed him with a handshake and an assurance that he was now among people who could offer him what he had always craved – fellowship.

Those early days had been confusing and difficult ones, but he would never forget how Harry treated him, and although he had a hard time showing it, his love and loyalty to the man would never waver. In turn, taking their cue from Harry, Ron and Hermione had warmed to him, and in the process he had formed a friendship with Ron that surprised them both.

It was different to the relationship he had with Harry. He could admit that he held Harry in a kind of awe, that he held the man as a leader, one that he would follow with great fealty, and in so doing inevitably created a slight distance between them. Ron, however, he came to regard as a brother, and there had been a moment, in the final battle, when he had believed Ron to be dead, and he had felt as though someone had torn the heart from his chest.

Where Remus fitted in, Draco couldn't say. They had bumped into one another in the corridor between each other's rooms one night and before Draco had realised what was happing, he was pinned against the wall and being kissed within an inch of his life. He hadn't been complaining; he'd been watching Remus since the first night the man had returned to the house, surprising Draco with his presence.

He hadn't seen the man since he had left after Draco's 3rd year, and although he looked tired and thin, something about him sparked an attraction in Draco and he hadn't been able to take his eyes off the man from that moment on. When Remus had pressed him up against the wall and plundered his mouth greedily, Draco had responded with equal fervour and had pulled Remus into his bedroom, where the man had speedily divested him of his clothing and fucked him senseless.

That first time seemed to set the tone for all their subsequent encounters, and although there had been times when Draco had wanted more, when he was sure that Remus wanted more, he had stamped the feelings down viciously, and ensured that they stayed buried. It was easier to keep it physical, to keep it in its nice, neat little box and for it to be used solely for the relief he so desperately needed. To make it into anything else was just too complicated to be considered.

* * *

Draco stood stiffly, as close to the wall as he could get without looking like a lunatic, clutching his glass of warm champagne and casting yet another glance at his watch to see if he was any nearer the possibility of leaving.

"Stop looking at your watch," came an amused voice in his ear, and he turned to find Harry standing next to him, smiling gently.

"Can't help it," Draco replied with a sigh. "Can I leave yet?"

Harry chuckled and said, "You're a grown man Drake, you can leave whenever you like."

Draco rolled and his eyes and said, "Not without getting an ear-bashing from your bloody husband come Monday."

"He just worries," Harry said gently. "He doesn't like the thought of you spending all your time alone in that cottage or chained to your desk working yourself to death. He wants you to get out and come to these functions – "

"Functions that I can't bloody stand," Draco interrupted. "You know I hate all these bloody war memorial gatherings. It's over and done with, why can't it be left alone?"

Harry sighed and said, "We all hate it, but it has to be done, we have to show our faces and do what we can to raise funds for all the post-war causes. It'll be worth it in the end."

"I just…don't do well in large groups of people," Draco said, feeling his skin start to twitch.

"I know, but it's better that you're here."

"So the Prophet can publish my picture tomorrow and make snide comments about my 'true' allegiances and make wild conjectures about the reasons behind me choosing to fight with you? Can't wait."

Harry looked as though he was about to say something, but obviously decided against it, settling for giving Draco's a shoulder a supportive squeeze. "Give it another half an hour, then you can make your retreat. Don't go without saying goodbye to Ron though, you'll put him in a foul mood and then I'll end up not getting any tonight," he said with a wink, and Draco couldn't stop himself from laughing.

"You're a prat," he told the bespectacled man.

"True, but you love me anyway."

Harry grinned at him and Draco found himself offering a more muted smile of his own before the man moved away to greet a group of old biddies with little sense but deep pockets.

Draco sipped at his champagne, then wrinkled his nose in distaste and placed the glass on a floating tray nearby. He wished himself miles away, alone in the seclusion of his cottage, away from prying eyes and acid tongues.

"Draco," came a familiar voice, and he looked to his right to see Severus standing beside him.

"Hello Severus," he said with a smile. "I see you're as thrilled as I am to be here."

Severus smirked and said, "Am I not successfully hiding my displeasure?"

"As well as you usually do."

Severus was the only person who understood how he felt at these damned functions. The man was as tainted as he was, more so as he had seemingly had nearly 20 years as a loyal Death Eater, despite all the evidence that had been presented to the contrary and Harry's very loud and very public support of him. The public at large were still highly distrustful of him and he had had several doors slammed in his face in the years since the war had ended.

"I see the wolf is in attendance tonight," Severus drawled, and Draco refused to cast his eyes in the direction Severus was looking.

"Don't call him that," Draco said gruffly, and Severus turned to look at him with an arched eyebrow. "Harry doesn't like it," he elaborated dismissively.

"And why should I concern myself with what Potter does and doesn't like?"

Draco sighed. "Don't be a prick Severus. You know how much you owe Harry, how much we both do. If you don't like him, then fine, but you'll speak about him respectfully in my presence. The same goes for…for all the members of the Order."

Severus scoffed but didn't respond. It wasn't the first time Draco had had to pull the man up on his attitude, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. "Well, Lupin looks like hell. I don't know why he's here at all, it's only a few days after the full moon."

Draco couldn't stop himself from looking up and seeking the man out, and he wasn't pleased to see that Severus hadn't been exaggerating. Remus looked tired and worn, his skin was practically grey and there were dark circles under his eyes. Draco tried to push down the surge of worry he felt, but he was unsuccessful, and he felt a protective ache in his chest as he looked at the man.

"I thought things were better now that you'd altered the potion," he said, and Severus looked at him with a questioning arch of his eyebrow. "Harry told me about the alterations you've made," Draco said, thinking quickly.

"With the amount of people bitten and subsequently turned during the war, I've had to alter it several times to make life more bearable for those inflicted. I still have a way to go with it and it's nowhere near perfect, but Lupin assures me that suffering without turning is better than suffering with."

Draco nodded, Remus had said as much to him the last time he had seen him, but he couldn't help but feel worried by the sight of the man. He spoke with Severus for a little while longer, steering the conversation to topics that wouldn't make his chest constrict uncomfortably. Eventually, Severus left him to go and have his usual short, polite conversation with Harry, aware of the good it did his reputation to be seen with the man.

Draco had kept an eye on Remus' movements the whole time, and he was aware that the man had moved into one of the little anterooms that led off from the main room they were in, and although he had tried to ignore it, Draco was worried that the man's absence was connected to his poor health.

He cast a quick look around to make sure that no one was watching him, then moved to across the room and through the door he had seen Remus exit through minutes before. The man was sitting in a winged-back chair by a small fireplace, his eyes closed and a small glass of brandy in his hand.

Remus hadn't seen him, he could turn around leave without the man having to know that he had ever been there, but part of him refused to leave until he made sure that Remus was alright. He ran his tongue over his lips, which felt dry all of sudden, and moved further into the room.

He didn't know what he was doing, or what he _intended_ to do, but he found himself standing in front of Remus' chair, looking down at the thin, tired face and wishing that he could do something to relieve the man of his pain. He knelt down and, trying to push all rational thought to the back of his head, reached out and laid his hand gently on top of Remus'.

The man's eyes fluttered open and his face registered a look of surprise as he realised who it was kneeling in front of him, who it was touching his hand. "Draco?" he said quietly, sitting up a little straighter in the chair.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked, and Remus gave him a wan smile.

"Not really," he answered. "The last full moon was…pretty rough. It's taking me a while to recover from it."

"Can I get you something?" Draco asked, trying to ignore the fact that his treacherous hand still hadn't removed itself from Remus'.

"No, no I'll be fine. I have a little brandy," Remus said, holding up the glass in his free hand.

"You should go home," Draco said softly and Remus nodded.

"I know, I just didn't have the energy to apparate, I thought perhaps a moment's rest and a little fortification would help."

Draco rose to his feet and held out his hand, saying, "I'll take you, come on."

Remus looked at the extended hand for a moment before taking it, allowing Draco to pull him gently to his feet. He placed the brandy to one side, his other hand still entwined with Draco's, and Draco wrapped his arm around the man's waist, holding him firmly. "Hold on," Draco murmured, relishing the feeling of being pressed up against the man's chest.

Remus' arms wrapped around him and Draco allowed himself to breathe in the scent of the man. It was so familiar; soap and aftershave and the citrus air freshener that often permeated through Remus' flat, and the smell tingled across his senses. Knowing he couldn't stand there indefinitely, practically sniffing the man, he tightened his hold and apparated them back to Remus' flat.

Remus swayed slightly, and Draco braced him, leading him to sit in the armchair beside them. "Shall I make you some tea?" he asked, and Remus smiled up at him.

"Thank you but no, my stomach's doing summersaults."

"Don't you have anything you can take to relieve it?"

Remus shook his head. "Severus has forbidden me from taking anything else while we go through the Wolfsbane trials, he says it could affect the properties, make them too unpredictable."

"That's a pain, you look like you could do with some Pepper Up at least."

Remus emitted a soft chuckle and said, "You know just what to say to make a man feel good about himself."

Draco smiled and said, "Sorry, not my forte."

He stood looking down at the man, wishing he could do something to alleviate his suffering, feeling useless and helpless. "I should let you be," he said eventually, feeling like a fool.

Something flitted across Remus' face and he released a long, slow breath as he looked down at his lap and said, "Of course, there's no point you staying if I can't…accommodate you."

"It isn't that," Draco protested, but Remus waved a dismissive hand at him.

"You never stay at the best of times, Draco, let alone when I'm a pale shadow of the man you want me to be," Remus said, shifting in his chair and wincing slightly as he did so. "I can't fuck you into the mattress so I'm no good to you."

"Remus that isn't – "

"Don't deny it," Remus said, shaking his head. "Just go. Thank you for bringing me back here."

Draco wanted to say something, anything, to let the man know that he was wrong, that he wanted to stay, but didn't know how to. He didn't know how to be with Remus in any scenario that didn't involve sex, although there was a part of him, a larger part than he would admit, that wanted desperately to try.

He turned on his heel and left the flat, cursing his damaged soul and the fact that wounds that should have long since healed continued to impact so heavily on his life.

* * *

Draco shifted in his seat, feeling deeply uncomfortable, but trying to keep his expression neutral yet sympathetic. The woman sitting opposite him was doing her best to keep herself under control, but she had been unable to stop herself from crying, and Draco couldn't blame her.

"That was it, in the space of four days I lost my entire family," she said, her voice broken. "If it hadn't been for the aurors, I'm sure I would have been killed too." She took a deep breath and sipped at the water that had been provided for her. "Lucius…Lucius tortured me while I was held captive, he did…he did things to me that I'll never be able to forget, and I…I…."

"Please don't upset yourself Ms Thornton," Draco said gently. "We can terminate the interview if you're finding it too difficult."

She shook her head and said, "No, no this needs to be done. The thought of that man being set free turns my blood cold. I'll do anything I can to make sure he stays behind bars." She looked up at Draco and paled slightly, saying, "I'm sorry, I know he's your father but – "

Draco held his hand up and said, "Believe me Ms Thornton, I couldn't agree with you more. Trust me when I say that I will be doing everything in my power to ensure that he is never granted parole. Are you able to continue?"

The woman nodded, and Draco spent the next half an hour hearing her account of the horrors she had suffered at his father's hands. It was not the first such narrative of its kind that he had heard, and he had several more interviews scheduled that were all with people who had experienced his father's particular brand of hospitality.

He left her with his assistant, instructing him to make sure that she was given a cup of sweet tea and offered access to the counselling service the department provided. He moved back into his office and slumped down at his desk, rubbing his face tiredly.

"We're going for a walk," he heard Ron's voice say firmly, and he looked up to see the man standing by his desk.

"I've got too much to do."

"Drake, I wasn't asking you."

Ron tugged at his elbow and, aware that Ron could quite easily haul him up from his chair if he wanted to, Draco acquiesced and stood up with a sigh. They walked quietly from the office, down the stairs to the atrium. Draco was about to ask Ron where they were going when the man grabbed hold of his arm and apparated them away.

The sudden silence and brilliant sunshine was a surprise, and Draco let his eyes adjust as he realised that they were in the countryside that surrounded his cottage. It was exactly where he needed to be at that moment, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling at Ron.

"Come on," Ron said softly, and they began to stroll down the little path they were on, warmed by the early summer sunshine. "I think it was a mistake you dealing with your father's parole," Ron said eventually.

"It has to be me Ron," Draco replied. "I have to see this through, I have to make sure he stays there."

"It's not good for you going through all these interviews, hearing all the things he did."

"It's not news to me, I'm aware of what an evil bastard my father is. All the things he did to those people…he did them to me too."

He couldn't meet Ron's eyes. Ron knew all the things that Lucius had inflicted upon him over the years, all the cruel and twisted punishments he had doled out and the many painful ways in which he had been abused by the man. Still, it didn't make it any easier to know that Ron knew it all, it didn't make it easier to look into those clear blue eyes and see sympathy and pity looking back at him.

"Another couple of weeks and it'll be done with, but until then I have to do everything I can to make sure he never sees the light of day."

Ron was quiet for a moment before he said, "Have you considered speaking yourself at his hearing?"

Draco stopped walking and turned to face Ron, frowning deeply as he said, "What do you mean?"

Ron raked a hand through his hair then scratched at the end of his nose before saying, "All these testimonies you're gathering from the people who were most affected by Lucius' cruelty…don't you think your own would be twice as powerful? If the parole board heard what his own son had to say about him…it would have more impact that all the other testimonies put together."

"I couldn't," Draco said, shaking his head. "I couldn't stand up in front of a panel of people and tell them what that man did to me. I'd never be able to hold my head up in public again."

Ron nodded and placed a hand on Draco's shoulder. "It's up to you, I won't push, but just give it some thought hm? Whatever you decide, I'll be with you all the way."

Ron pulled him into a crushing hug and Draco closed his eyes as he held on tightly. He loved the man dearly, he loved the strength he gave him and the support he had always drawn from him. He had never known what family meant until he developed a relationship with Ron, and he would proudly declare to anyone who listened that he held Ron as a brother, and that he was bloody lucky to do so.

"Take the afternoon off," Ron said as he released him, and seeing that Draco was about to argue, said, "no bloody arguments. In fact, I want you to take the next couple of days off. You look bloody exhausted."

"You're not my boss," Draco said, knowing that he sounded like a petulant child.

"No, I'm not, I'm your friend, your best friend," he added with a grin, "and I'm telling you to take some time and collect yourself. I know you want to pretend that your father's hearing isn't having an affect on you, and if that's how you want to cope with things then fine, but if you think that I'm going to leave you alone to work yourself into the ground then you can think again."

Arguing with Ron was pointless; the man had had years of practice arguing with his brothers and Ginny, and had the activity honed to a fine art. He was also more stubborn than a donkey and would simply dig his heels in and refuse to budge.

"Alright," he said with a defeated sigh. "I suppose it wouldn't kill me to take a couple of days off."

Ron beamed at him and said, "Come on then, you're inviting me back to your cottage for a spot of lunch and a glass of that exquisite wine you've got."

"How kind of me," said Draco, rolling his eyes as Ron looped his arm through his and they carried on walking down the path that led to his home.

* * *

It was true that Draco needed the time off from work, but it was also true that he didn't really know what to do with it. He hadn't taken a proper holiday since he had started working for the department, and he was even less inclined to do so once he was made the head of it.

The first day he spent quietly reading, catching up with a couple of books that he'd been meaning to finish for months. It was early June and the weather was gorgeous, and Draco made use of the pretty little garden that the cottage boasted. It was good to be away from the office and from the interminable work associated with his father's case, but he wasn't used to the lack of structure that time off brought with it.

He couldn't help but let his mind wander to Remus. He hadn't seen the man since he had taken him back to his flat, and that had been three weeks ago. He was painfully aware that another full moon was only a couple of days away and he couldn't bear the thought of the man suffering alone in his flat, racked with pain, shivering in his bed as fever gripped him.

He wanted to take it all away from him, to stop the horrible affliction that made the man's skin turn grey and gave him dark circles under his eyes. He tried to push it all to the back of his mind, to pretend that he didn't care, that he wasn't racked with guilt at the memory of how things had been left between them, and the fact that Remus felt used by him.

He _had_ used the man, had been using him for years, but he was too terrified to let it become anything more than that. He had spent years pretending that he thought of Remus as nothing more than a fuck buddy, that their relationship was based on sex and sex alone, but as he sat alone and worried himself stupid about how ill the man might be, he knew it was foolish to continue lying to himself.

By the evening of his third day off, he could take it no longer. He gathered some things together and apparated to Diagon Alley, walking swiftly to the little side street that Remus' flat was nestled in. He gathered all the courage that he possessed and knocked on the door. He waited but there was no answer, and fear gripped him as he began to imagine the terrible things that could have befallen the man.

He weighed up his options and decided that he had no choice but to take out his wand and systematically take down the man's wards and unlock the door. It took a while; Remus was an accomplished wizard and protective spells were his specialty. Draco's prior training, however, ensured that he had never yet come across wards that he couldn't break.

Eventually he broke through, and he let himself into the flat, calling out the man's name as he looked around for him. He found him, curled up in his bed, his face ashen, a layer of sweat on his forehead, shaking from head to toe.

"Remus," Draco whispered, taking the man's hand as he perched next to him on the bed.

"Draco?" Remus said, his eyes cloudy, his voice hoarse.

"Ssh, ssh, it's ok. I'm here to take care of you," Draco soothed, troubled by just how poorly the man looked.

"You're…what?" Remus asked, confused and disorientated.

"Lie still," Draco said, pushing him back down onto to the bed gently. He stood, divesting himself of his robe and hanging it from the bedpost. He undid his cuffs and rolled his sleeves up, then moved into the bathroom and ran a clean flannel under the cold tap.

He sat back down next to Remus and placed the flannel over the man's forehead, which was burning hot and clammy at the same time. "I'm going to get word to Severus, there must be something you can take, this is intolerable."

The bedsheets were soaked with sweat and Draco cast a deep cleaning charm over them and the threadbare pyjamas Remus was wearing, hoping to make the man a little more comfortable. He was aware that Remus would be all but drained of his own magic, and he was as helpless as a newborn baby as he lay there.

"I don't understand," said Remus as his head lolled on the pillow. "Why are you here?"

"I've already told you, I'm going to take care of you."

"But why?" Remus pressed seemingly baffled by the concept.

Draco couldn't really answer the question and all he could do was shrug in response. He brushed his fingers against Remus' cheek, the action more tender than he had realised he was capable of, and as the man looked up at him, he knew that he wasn't going to go anywhere.

He fetched a glass of water from the kitchen and slid one hand behind Remus' head as he gently urged him to sip at it, saying, "You have to drink."

"I'll be sick," Remus argued, trying to bat the drink away.

"I don't care, you have to drink," Draco said, pressing the glass more insistently against the man's lips. Remus took a few careful sips and Draco let him rest his head back on the pillow again, saying, "I'm going to make you drink every half an hour, whether you like it or not."

"Go home," Remus said, trying to push Draco's hands away as he went to put the flannel back on Remus' forehead.

"No," Draco said firmly. "I'm not leaving you."

"But – "

"Stop arguing with me you infuriating man. You're practically on death's door, let me take care of you."

The fight seemed to leave Remus, indeed Draco wasn't sure how he had any in him in the first place given that he looked as though he might shuffle from the mortal coil at any point.

Draco pulled his wand out and performed a quick diagnostic, unsurprised to find that the man was running a high temperature and that he was quite seriously dehydrated. What bothered him most was finding that his kidneys weren't in a good state and that he also appeared to be at risk of a seizure.

He moved into the living room and chucked some floo powder into the fire, kneeling down and saying clearly, "Severus Snape." He waited for a moment or two before Severus' head appeared in the flames, saying with surprise,

"Draco. What on earth are you doing at Lupin's flat?"

"He's not well Severus, it's serious. He needs help or his kidneys are going to pack in, never mind the state the rest of his health is in."

Severus sighed and said, "Give me half an hour or so, I'll be over when I've made preparations."

"Thanks," Draco said, and Severus nodded before his image disappeared. He stood up and moved back into the bedroom, taking a seat on the bed next to Remus. "Severus is coming, just hold on for a bit, we'll get you sorted," he said gently, casting a cooling charm on the flannel and placing it over Remus' forehead again. "It's not right," he whispered softly, "you shouldn't have to suffer like this. You're one of the…you're the most…" he trailed off, feeling like a fool as he felt Remus' gentle eyes on him.

He decided to make use of himself while he waited for Severus to arrive, and he set about tidying Remus' room. It was a testament to just how ill the man was that the room was in disarray, as he was normally fastidiously tidy. Draco picked up the clothes that had been discarded around the room, putting them back in the wardrobe or folding them neatly and placing them in the dresser.

He moved back into the living room and through to the kitchen, seeing that it was in a worse state than the bedroom. Remus had obviously been halfway through making a meal when he'd taken ill, and there were pots and pans on the surface with food left in them and dirty utensils in the sink. Remus would have a fit if anyone could see the place in such a state, and the least Draco could do was to put it back to rights for him.

He cast cleaning charms over all the items, then put them all back in the cupboards or drawers, figuring out where everything went by trial and error. He liked Remus' flat, he always had done. It was simple and modest but there was something warm and homely about it that Draco appreciated.

Remus had found work as a tutor, both to magic and muggle children alike. He tutored muggle teenagers for their English exams, having an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of literature and a deep understanding of it. He had taught himself all the necessary things that muggle exam boards looked for and had managed to forge muggle qualifications in order to convince parents to hire him in the first place.

For the children of magic folk, he either taught them Defence, if they were of Hogwarts age, or tutored them in basic Charms and magical theory if they weren't and their parents simply wanted to give them a little boost of knowledge before they attended the magical institution. The work hardly paid him a fortune, but it enabled him to be fairly comfortable and paid the rent on the flat, which although small, was a decent place to live.

Draco heard the whoosh of the floo and stepped back into the living room to find Severus standing there, several books and a large wooden chest in his arms.

"He's in the bedroom," said Draco, nodding towards the door to Severus' left.

"I'll go and examine him, see if I can find a solution."

Draco nodded, and Severus disappeared into Remus' room, closing the door behind him. Draco sighed and sat down on the sofa, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He waited, staring at the closed door, worried about what Severus might find. Remus looked so ill, so frail, and all Draco wanted was to make it better for him. The man didn't deserve this cruel fate; he was so kind, so gentle, that it seemed desperately unfair that he should have to suffer in such a way.

He let his head fall forward and he rubbed at his temples as he felt his tension grow. Everything was beginning to get on top of him and he wanted to make it all stop, just for an hour or two, to give himself a moment's respite.

The door opened, and Severus appeared again. Draco stood, and Severus came to stand opposite him, saying, "He's quite seriously ill, if you hadn't have found him…I don't like to think what his chances would have been. His kidneys are in a bad way, but I've given him a potion that acts as a sort of dialysis, and he'll need it once a day to repair the damage that's been done. I've also given him an anti-seizure remedy as a precaution and I think he should take it once a week, until the danger's passed. Everything he needs is in the box by his bed, along with instructions."

"Will they affect his transformation?" Draco asked, and Severus shook his head.

"No, I've spent the last month figuring out what can and can't be used in conjunction with the revised Wolfsbane and we should be safe enough. He shouldn't be left alone though."

"He won't be," Draco said firmly, then rubbed at the back of his neck before he said, "Can he travel? I mean…would it safe to apparate him somewhere?"

"Yes, he should be. Why, where do you intend on taking him?"

Draco could hardly believe exactly what it was he was intending, but the idea made sense and he wanted to do right by Remus. "I'm going to take him to my cottage. There's more space, I've got a spare bedroom and it means I won't have to sleep on the sofa. My place has a bath too and Remus only has a shower here, it'd be better for his aches and pains if he could have a good soak once in a while. Besides…I think he'd like some time away from the city, I know he enjoys the countryside."

Severus' eyebrow rose, but the man was tactful enough not to give voice to the thoughts that Draco was sure he must be having. "That's…very considerate of you," he said eventually. "I'll come by yours in a week's time then, but if you encounter any problems before then, please contact me."

"I shall, thank you," Draco said, extending his hand. Severus shook it, regarding him closely, then turned and disappeared through the floo again.

Draco let out a long, slow breath, then went back to Remus' room. "Remus?" he said gently as he stood by the man's bed and gently took hold of his hand. "I'm going to take you to my cottage, can you sit up?"

"Your cottage?" Remus echoed. "What are you talking about?"

"I going to look after you there, you can't be left alone, you're seriously ill."

"But…you don't want to do that, not for me," Remus said, his eyes heavy and his speech slightly slurred.

"Yes I do," Draco whispered. "I'm going to take care of you, I'm going to get you well again."

"But your home, I've never…you don't…"

"Ssh, don't waste your energy. You're coming with me, end of discussion. Now sit up for me." Remus shifted upwards and Draco helped him, then manoeuvred him to the edge of the bed, noticing the man shiver as he pulled the covers aside. He pulled him into a standing position and the man swayed unsteadily on his feet, grabbing hold of Draco's shoulders to stop himself from falling. He shrunk the box of potions that Severus had left and tucked it into his pocket.

"Just hold on as tightly as you can, you'll be back in bed in no time."

Draco wrapped his arms around the waist that felt thinner than usual and pulled Remus close against his body before he apparated them both to his cottage. Remus collapsed against him and Draco used all the strength he had to keep him upright. He guided him down the corridor and into his guest bedroom, throwing aside the bedcovers and levering him gently into bed.

He covered him with the duvet and sat beside him, brushing the sandy-coloured hair from the man's forehead. "You're going to be fine, you just need rest and Severus' potions."

Remus wasn't listening, he was already falling asleep, his breathing shallow and his skin still pale. "I wish I could tell you, Remus," he whispered as he continued to stroke the man's hair. "I wish I wasn't so messed up and that I could…that I wasn't such a coward." He took a deep breath and continued, "I was so worried about you. I hated seeing you like that last month and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. I know you think that I don't…that I only come to you for…" he trailed off, not finding things any easier just because Remus couldn't hear him. "If things were different Remus, if _I_ was different…"

He shook his head and stood up from the bed, deciding that he'd be more useful to Remus by making him something to eat rather than perching beside him and muttering nonsense.

* * *

He spoke with Ron the following day and informed him that he would be working from home for the next week or so. He didn't offer an explanation and Ron was discreet enough not to enquire after his reasons.

The first couple of days after Draco brought Remus to the cottage were spent with Remus slipping in and out of consciousness. His body was still fighting the transformation and he was weakened substantially by it. Draco ensured that he carried on taking the kidney and anti-seizure potions and did what he could to keep the man's fever down and to make him as comfortable as possible.

Things improved after the full moon passed, Remus wasn't quite so incapacitated but his health had taken a serious battering, and it would take him some time to recover. Draco tended to him, lavishing more care and attention on the man that he would have ever imagined himself capable of. He only prayed that Remus would continue to accept his help without questioning his motives.

"I can manage," Remus said, trying to haul himself up from the bed.

"You really can't," Draco replied, grabbing the man's elbow and steadying him. "Come on, before the water gets cold."

He wrapped an arm around Remus' waist and held him firmly as the man leant his weight on him. They walked slowly out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the bathroom. It was a beautifully warm day out, but Draco was insisting that Remus take a hot bath every day to ease his muscles.

He brought Remus to lean against the wall, making sure that he was steady on his feet, then moved to the tub and swished his fingers in the water, pleased to find that it was still nice and hot. He reached up to the side and grabbed a vial, uncorking it and pouring a little of the purple mixture into the water. It was a customised muscle relaxant the he himself had made, and he hoped it would help soothe the painful muscle cramps that Remus was still suffering from.

"Come on then, dressing gown off and I'll help you in," Draco said, turning back to Remus.

"I can do it on my own," Remus said, but even as he stood there, Draco could see that the effort of holding himself up was taking its toll.

"Would you stop being so bloody stubborn and let me help you? For Merlin's sake Remus, I've had your cock up my arse more times than I can count, I hardly think we need to blush about a little nudity in the tub, do you?"

Remus looked very much as though he would like to remonstrate, but it was obvious that he hadn't the energy to do anything but nod tiredly. He slipped the robe from his body and Draco steadied him as he lifted one foot up and into the tub then carefully lowered himself in with Draco's help.

Draco grabbed the sponge and began to squeeze water over Remus' shoulders and back, dabbing gently at the man's skin. It was a body that he knew almost as well as his own, a body that contained an alarming amount of strength but that at that moment was unnaturally weakened. He traced his fingers over the scars that littered the pale skin, all ones that Remus had acquired throughout previous transformations, apart from one long, thin scar that cut across his ribs. That had been made by a particularly vicious slicing hex during the final battle, and Remus had nearly bled to death as a result of it.

Draco had been terrified; he had watched Remus fall to the ground, his body convulsing as it went into shock, but there had been nothing he could do. He had been in the middle of fighting for his life and a moment's distraction would have seen both him and the group he was protecting blasted to death. He had been dimly aware that the medical recovery team had scooped Remus up and out of the fray, but he had had no idea at the time if they had taken away an injured man or a corpse.

Days later he had slipped into the man's room at the hospital after covertly listening to the medi-witch's conversation with Harry assuring him that Remus would be ok in a few days. Making sure that no one was around, he had taken Remus' hand in his own and pressed a kiss to the man's forehead, softly whispering to him that they had won and that he was going to be fine. He had never faced up to it, but the thought of losing Remus had struck him so painfully that the relief of finding him alive had been almost too much to bear.

"Are you still in pain?" Draco asked quietly.

"It's better than it was," Remus replied as Draco gently eased him to sink a little lower in the water and rest his head on the back of the tub. "It's bliss to be able to have a bath."

Draco smiled and continued to dab at Remus' skin with the sponge. "I'm glad it's having some benefit."

"The muscle relaxant is a godsend too," said Remus as he closed his eyes. "I thought I'd never be able to ease the pain in my hips."

"You're getting on in years you old wolf," Draco teased, and Remus cracked his eyes open to glare at him. Draco grinned at him and said, "You're not a young pup anymore."

"If you carry on with those pathetic wisecracks, I shall pull you in this tub and drown you in it."

"Empty threats," Draco said, moving the sponge over Remus' strong chest, unable to stop his eyes from tracing the line of the wound that could have ended the man's life.

"It's just a scar, one of many," Remus said quietly.

Draco reached out and traced it with his fingertips, powerless to stop the protective surge he felt rise in his chest. He could remember how he felt all those years ago when Remus had been wounded, how he felt every time there was a full moon and his mind strayed to the man, whether he wanted it to or not.

"It could have ended your life," he whispered.

"But it didn't, I'm still here."

 _Good, because I don't know that I'd cope if you weren't_ , Draco thought before he could stop himself. He had worked so hard to keep those bloody thoughts buried where they belonged, but every now and again they would rise unbidden to the surface.

He could feel Remus' eyes on him and he knew he would falter under the scrutinising gaze if he looked up and met it. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and said, "Are you ready to get out?" His voice sounded strange to his ears and he cursed himself, not for the first time, for being such an inept shell of a man.

Remus nodded and Draco stood, carefully helping Remus to his feet then shouldering the man's weight as he stepped out of the tub. They stood opposite one another, Draco very aware of the man's nakedness. He pulled him a little closer, wanting desperately to increase the contact, to be near him. He wanted to press his lips against the man's, to kiss him gently, softly, not the way the usually kissed, all heat and passion and hardness. In the end, all he could do was reach for a towel and wrap it around Remus' shoulders.

He met Remus' eyes, forcing himself to look up eventually. Remus' eyes were so intense, so full of life, intelligent and kind. They were Draco's favourite part of the man, although he allowed himself to look into them only rarely.

"I'll have to get back to my flat soon," Remus said gently as he took over and wrapped the towel around his waist. "I can't impose on you much longer."

Draco smiled gently and placed a hand on Remus' chest, needing the skin-to-skin contact. "You're not going anywhere Remus, you're staying here until you're well again."

"But I – "

Draco pressed a gentle finger to the man's lips and said, "No arguments. I like looking after you."

A questioning look flitted across Remus' face and Draco couldn't help but place a hand on the man's cheek, moving his thumb gently over the defined cheekbone. "Please let me take care of you," he implored. "Please let me do this."

"Draco – "

He could stand it no longer; he leant forward and pressed his lips against Remus', slipping a hand up to rest on the man's shoulder, holding him gently, pulling their bodies close together. Remus kissed him back and it sent a thrill up his spine when he felt the man's hands settle in the small of his back in a hold that felt deliciously possessive. His body reacted to Remus, as it always did, and he wanted nothing more than to cling to him and wring every ounce of comfort that he could from the man.

He couldn't though, Remus was still too poorly, and he was still too afraid to let himself be so vulnerable, to let himself show the man that he wanted so much more than they already had. He broke away reluctantly, feeling slightly jarred and seeing the same regret that he felt reflected back to him from Remus' eyes.

"We can't have you standing around in nothing but a towel, you'll catch your death," he said softly. "Come on, let's get you settled and I'll make dinner."

* * *

Draco very quickly became accustomed to sharing his home with Remus. It surprised and terrified him in equal measure; he hadn't thought he would ever be able to share his living space with another person and the fact that he felt so comfortable living alongside Remus came as rather a shock.

It was true that Remus' health was still poor, and he needed to be kept on the potions that Severus had prescribed for him, but he was probably well enough to have returned to his own flat. Neither man mentioned it, and Draco found himself hoping that neither of them would.

He couldn't help but love taking care of Remus. He enjoyed cooking for him, gratified to think that the man was eating three square meals a day. He liked sneaking a glance across at him in the evenings when he was reclining in one of the armchairs, his attention taken up with one of the many books that graced Draco's bookshelves. He liked watching from the kitchen window as Remus sat in the cottage's little garden, tilting his face up to the sunshine and drinking in the peace of their surroundings.

The countryside had been good for him. His flat was nice enough but Draco knew the man liked crowds even less than he did, and the space and tranquillity that Draco's cottage could provide had been good for him.

Draco also had to admit that it was nice to have another soul in the cottage while he steadily worked on his father's case. Too much time spent alone whilst dealing with it hadn't, he realised, been particularly healthy, and having to attend to a houseguest ensured that he didn't spend endless hours brooding over the case notes or ruminating on what an unmitigated bastard his father really was. It was still difficult though, and the situation was causing him a great deal of stress and tension.

He rubbed at his eyes tiredly and thought, not for the first time, that it really would be worth his while to get his vision tested. He chucked the stack of paperwork that he had been rifling through down on the little table beside his armchair, sighing tiredly as he did so.

"Perhaps it would be best if you called it a day," Remus said gently, and he looked to the doorway where he was coming in from the garden. The man padded softly across the room, his movements still a little stiff and cautious, and took a seat in the armchair that Draco realised with a jolt that he thought of as Remus'.

Draco nodded and said, "You're right. I just…I just want to make sure that this is sorted, once and for all."

"You can't do anymore Draco, you've done all you can to ensure that Lucius stays where he belongs. You'll make yourself ill if you carry on like this…then who would look after me?" he finished with a teasing smile.

Draco returned the smile, though it was a little half-hearted. "I'll find no peace until this is behind me," he said, reaching out and straightening the files that he had chucked down on the table beside him. "The thought of him being free again…it sends my blood cold."

He stood and moved over to the bookcase, pushing and pulling at the books so that the spines were all aligned against the shelf. "I wouldn't have been able to get through the last few years if I hadn't have known that he was behind bars."

"Many of the survivors from the war feel the same way about those who were convicted," Remus said quietly, and Draco kept his attention on the books he was rearranging. "You suffered greatly at your father's hands, it's only natural you'd feel a sense of security with him being incarcerated."

Draco took a deep breath and ran his fingers over the spine of a huge tome. "You know what he did to me?" he asked with a whisper.

"Nothing specific, but only a fool would be blind to the struggles you face where he's concerned."

Draco removed his hand from the book and flexed his hand as he turned around to face Remus. "He was evil," he said, feeling a shiver run through him. "He was a bully and a tyrant, and I'm only sorry he wasn't killed in the final battle."

Draco wrapped his arms around himself and looked at the floor as he said, "I was 15 when I began to realise that I was gay. I'd begun to notice the other boys at school and I'd started to understand that girls really didn't do anything for me. I was curious…a little confused, so when the Easter holidays rolled around I…tried to do a little research."

He shook his head with a self-deprecating smile and said, "I bought a few magazines, nothing too hardcore, just enough to…get an idea." He paused, his pulse quickening uncomfortably as he recalled the memory. "My father walked in on me looking at them. He was…horrified, disgusted. He tore them out of my hands and gave me a crack around the head with his cane. He stormed out and I thought that was the end of it…but it wasn't.

"Two days later I was in my room, it was late and I was about to go to bed. The door opened and my father walked in…there was a man with him." Draco tightened his arms around himself and released a shaky breath before saying, "My father just sneered at me and said, ' _You want to be fucked like a woman? Let's see if you still feel the same way after tonight_.'

"Before I could blink I was bound to the bed, my clothes vanished and the man was on top of me. It was…so painful…so humiliating. My father watched the entire thing…he just sat in the armchair by my bed and watched while I was raped."

Tears pricked at Draco's eyes, and he did his best to fight against them. Remus rose to his feet and walked slowly across the room to him. He placed his hand gently on Draco's cheek and Draco met his eyes guardedly, relieved to find that there was none of the disgust there that he had been terrified to find.

All that the man's expression held was the same devastated concern that Ron had shown when he had confessed the story to him a few years ago, and the part of Draco's mind that still held himself responsible, that told him his father had been justified, diminished a little further.

Remus' hand moved to the back of his neck and Draco was slowly drawn into the man's arms. He didn't resist, he could think of nothing that he wanted more at that moment than to be held like a child and comforted by the man who held more of his heart than he could bring himself to admit. Remus smoothed one hand back and forth through Draco's hair and the other held him around the waist. Draco had never felt safer or more protected than he did at that moment, wrapped in Remus' embrace in the little haven that his cottage had become.

"If I could kill him for you, I would," Remus growled softly in his ear, and Draco was reminded that although the man had suffered with his health, he still had all the powerful instincts of a wolf, and the protective, possessive surge that Draco could feel rolling off the man in waves was intoxicating.

He tightened his hold on him, drawing every ounce of comfort and solace that he possibly could. He nestled his head into the crook of the man's neck and breathed in the scent of him, noting that now, Remus smelt of all the things he associated with his own home. It sent a funny thrill through him to think of Remus carrying his scent, to think that the man was marked with all the things that made his life his own.

He pulled back slightly and looked up at Remus, his heart thudding in his chest. Remus' hand was cradling his head gently and he had never felt more conflicted. He wanted to run, to flee to the safety of his room and lock the door behind him, but he couldn't have removed himself from Remus' arms if the cottage had turned to rubble around them.

"He'll never get out Draco," Remus said softly. "You never need fear him again."

"I don't fear him," Draco said fiercely. "I hate him, I hate everything he's ever done, everything he's capable of. The only thing I fear is what I could do to him if he wasn't protected by his incarceration." His heart was pounding now and he could feel his palms prickle with sweat. "I hate how he makes me feel, I hate the bile that rises in my throat whenever I think of him and I hate how out of control the mere thought of the man makes me feel."

"You need to calm down," Remus said, concern evident in his face.

"I can't, I can't stop myself when he gets inside my head. I can't stop my stomach from churning or my chest from hurting. What he did that night…it was the culmination of a lifetime of abuse and cruelty. You've seen my body, I have more scars than you do and each and every one of them was inflicted by him. I cast a glamour every single day or people would be able to see the scar that goes from my temple to my hairline, the place where he nearly knocked me unconscious with his cane."

Draco was struggling against Remus now but the man continued to hold him firmly as his behaviour became more erratic. "I want to hurt him, I want to see him suffer and that thought terrifies me because it means I'm just like him!"

"Stop this now," Remus said as he pinned Draco's arms to his sides. "You are nothing like that monster. You are one of the best men I have ever known. You're strong and compassionate, and the bravery you showed when you turned your back on your family was one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed."

Draco continued to struggle but Remus was stronger than he was, and pinned him against the bookcase as he said, "You might think it somehow goes against the noble ideas you've built your life around, but the hate you feel is natural and justified, and you should allow yourself to feel it, it doesn't in any way make you like him. You are one of the most unique people I have ever had the privilege of knowing and there is nothing of Lucius in you at all."

"You don't know that," Draco hissed, "I'm just like him," he said, his eyes wild, pushing back against Remus.

"No you bloody well aren't," Remus said forcefully, holding his body against Draco's in an effort to still his movements. "He is cruel and twisted, you are nothing like him. You are kind and loyal, if it weren't for you and how you fought in the final battle, hundreds would be dead. What can I say to make you see…" Remus trailed off and looked at Draco with such intensity that it made him stop fighting.

Draco wrists were released and he stood rooted to the spot, trying to decipher the look in the man's eyes, trying to bring his breathing under control. He had never seen the man look the way he did at that moment and Draco felt terrified and excited all at once. Remus moved so not a hair's breadth existed between them, then tilted his head and lowered it achingly slowly until his lips brushed against Draco's in the softest of kisses.

It was so gentle, the gentlest thing Draco had ever experienced with the man, and he had had no idea the man could kiss with such heart-breaking tenderness. It took his breath away, and he responded through instinct, his mind a complete blank as one of Remus' hands came up to caress his cheek as he continued to move his lips over Draco's in that beautifully chaste way.

"Don't do this Remus," Draco whispered, his voice faltering horribly.

"Ssh," Remus soothed, capturing Draco's lips in another sweet and tender kiss, the most innocent and beautiful thing that Draco had ever experienced. It terrified him.

"Please Remus," he said, his tears starting to fall, "please don't do this. Please don't make love to me."

Remus pulled back slightly, maintaining the contact between their bodies, his hand warm and soft against Draco's cheek. "What else should I do to the man I'm in love with?" he asked, and Draco felt his legs buckle as a surge of pure adrenaline assaulted his body.

Remus held him and stopped him from crumpling to the ground, though how he managed it when he was still not at full strength Draco would never know. "You don't mean that," Draco said, his voice shaking horribly.

"Of course I do," Remus said, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Draco's, closing his eyes and saying, "Let me show you."

"I can't Remus," Draco whispered.

Remus leant down to press gentle kisses to Draco's jaw, littering a trail down his throat and across a collarbone. "I love you," he murmured against Draco's skin, a hand teasing down Draco's back in a sensuous caress. "I love you," he murmured again, and Draco felt as though his heart was shattering within his chest. Remus brought his head up again and looked Draco in the eye once more, his expression gentle and unyielding at the same time. "I'll stop if you want me to. I'll leave and go back to my flat and you can pretend that I never said anything."

The thought of Remus leaving the cottage, of taking his kisses and caresses away with him was too much to bear. Draco took a shuddering breath then reached for one of Remus' hands. He wrapped his fingers around it then pushed himself off from the bookcase, leading Remus by the hand as he walked to his bedroom. His heart was pounding in his chest as he led them both inside, closing the door behind them and turning to face Remus.

"I…I don't know how to do this," he confessed. He had never had a sexual encounter that wasn't aggressive or meaningless. He had never allowed himself to be held and caressed, never allowed himself to feel anything beyond the immediate pleasure that sex could bring him.

"I have little enough experience myself," Remus said with a gentle smile, standing opposite him. Draco felt exposed and vulnerable, everything was so raw and intense, but he had never trusted anyone the way he trusted Remus and he suddenly realised that he wanted to give everything he could to the man.

Remus stepped forward and Draco shivered in anticipation as the man's hands went to the buttons on his shirt and slowly began undoing them. Remus slipped the garment from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor before he reached out and placed his hands on Draco's pale skin. He used his fingertips to trace delicate patterns down his chest and across his ribs, then gently guided Draco to lie down on the bed.

Draco did so, looking up at Remus as the man bent his head and softly kissed his throat, his shoulders, his chest, every inch of exposed skin that he could reach. His hands teased, and Draco closed his eyes as his body told him to stop thinking, to lie back and enjoy every second of such exquisite ministrations. He was used to giving over control to Remus, but not in this way, not when his heart was in such frightening danger of being trampled all over.

He had never been touched in the way Remus was touching him at that moment. He was used to rough hands, hands that tore at his clothes and left bruises the next day, but he felt his nerves stretched to the limit as Remus' long fingers danced over his skin, coaxing him to relax, skittering across his flesh with no other motive than to cause pleasure. Every kiss that followed those beautiful hands was delicate, almost reverent, and Draco had never felt so cherished in his entire life.

He felt Remus' hands move to his trousers and he tried to steady his breathing as they were removed, along with his underwear. A murmured lubrication spell and a warm, slick hand wrapped around his prominent erection, and Draco couldn't stop the arch of his body, nor the breathy sighs of pleasure that fell from his lips.

Remus' lips were back on his own once more, and Draco responded to his deep and sensual kisses, while the man's hand began a firm and delicious rhythm around his cock. The pace was measured and considered, the kisses languid yet sweeping, and Draco had no opportunity to chase after the thoughts that were tumbling from his head with alarming alacrity. He had always used sex as a way to banish the troubling reflections of his mind, but this was different; his thoughts weren't being banged out of his head with force and aggression, they were being chased away softly with whispers and shadows.

He needed to feel Remus' skin against his own, and although his mind was barely his own anymore, his power had never felt stronger. He imagined Remus naked, imagined the clothes flying from his body and the next thing he heard a surprised gasp from the man before he felt his warm body pressed against his.

"You're full of surprises," Remus said with a smile as he broke their kiss and Draco's hands came to roam over his skin.

Draco could do little but hum lightly in response, looking up at Remus as the man's hand continued to stroke him firmly. He bit his lip and something intense flitted across Remus' face. The man leant down until his lips were level with Draco's ear and all but growled into it, "How do you expect me to retain any control when you do that?"

Draco couldn't help but smile; it was wonderful to feel the passion that normally came with their more aggressive encounters tempered against this sweet and all-encompassing experience.

"What do you want love?" Remus whispered in his ear, and his stomach turned summersaults at the tender endearment.

"I want _you_ ," Draco murmured back, "I want all of you."

"You have me," Remus said softly, pressing his lips to the skin behind Draco's ear then peppering light but firm kisses all the way down his throat and over his chest. Remus' lips were hot against his skin, not hard enough to leave marks the next day, but firm enough for his body to respond to the delicious pressure. Hands moved to cause his flesh to tingle in delight, ghosting over his stomach, over his hips, teasing across his taut balls before he felt a warm, wet tongue breach him.

"Oh fucking hell," he breathed as he threw his head back against the pillow.

He couldn't stop his hips from bucking, nor could he stop himself from bearing down against the hot tongue that was lavishing attention on his entrance. The man was sucking, licking, kissing, moving in and out with his tongue in a way that made Draco grip the bedsheets as he bit down even harder on his lip. Remus had never done this to him before, he'd never allowed him to, but it was happening now, and it was so intensely intimate that Draco thought he might explode from the pressure of it all.

"Oh fuck, oh please Remus," he moaned, used to begging the man, but never like this, never when it was so exquisitely sweet.

Two lube-coated fingers replaced the tongue and Draco felt himself being stretched and prepared, his breathing heavy as a third breached him and crooked in such a way that his body was flooded with pleasure. Remus continued the action several times and Draco was practically yelling the man's name by the time Remus lined his erection up with Draco's entrance.

Draco looked up into the man's eyes and was undone by the expression reflected back at him. If he had ever tried to bury his feelings for the man in the past, at that moment he had to confront them, he had to surrender himself to the fact that he was completely in love with the man. Remus pushed into him slowly and Draco bore down to meet him, savouring every inch that he felt slide into him.

He wrapped his legs around the man's waist and drew him in deeper, unable to tear his eyes away from Remus'. He had never had sex face-to-face with his bedfellow before, he had never wanted to, but as Remus moved within him and he could see the beautiful look on his face as he did so, he realised he had been a complete fool.

Remus lowered his head and met him in a sensuous kiss, his thrusts deep, his pace achingly slow. He pulled out and moved back in again with torturously beautiful lunges and Draco had never felt pleasure like it. He had always thought that he had thrived on being well and truly fucked, hard and fast, all heavy breathing, grasping hands and an incessant drive towards completion.

He wasn't going to deny that that way of having sex certainly had its appeal, but his body had never experienced this slow and consistent building of pleasure, pleasure that his mind was able to latch onto as well as his body, and as Remus continued to move, he hazily wondered if it was possible to go mad from pleasure.

He groaned against Remus' lips and the man broke the kiss, holding himself up on strong arms as his gaze bored through Draco. Draco relished every second of being able to see Remus' face as he continued to thrust. He had never been able to watch Remus in these moments before, and he was mesmerised by the myriad of expressions he saw travel across the man's face as he continued to move inside him.

He was overwhelmed by the entirety of the experience. His pleasure was so intense and growing by the second, and the heady mix of love and passion that he could feel emanating from the man thrusting into his body was breath-taking.

"Remus," he whispered. "Oh God Remus," he said, wishing he could have said more, but utterly unable to remember how words worked. Remus thrust a little harder and Draco tightened his legs around the man's waist, drawing him in as far he could go, then his orgasm ripped through him with such force that he couldn't stop himself from crying out, the noise almost a scream.

His body was shaking, racked with pleasure and emotion, endorphins zinging across his brain and rendering him incapable of doing anything but lie there as Remus thrust hard inside him then halted suddenly, his body trembling as he found his own release.

Draco lay there, staring unblinkingly up at the ceiling, feeling as though his world had been torn apart and put back together in the space of a few seconds. Remus' body pressed down against his own and he relished in the feeling of having the man so close to him. He nearly whimpered when he felt the man's spent prick slide from his body, a quick cleaning charm being cast soon after.

Remus rolled to the side slightly and Draco felt suddenly bereft at not having the man's weight bearing down on him. He tilted his head and met Remus' eyes, trying to bring his breathing under control. He felt undone, altered somehow, and his heart soared as the man reached out and lay a hand on his cheek.

"I…I've never experienced anything like that before," he said, and Remus smiled gently at him.

"Nor I."

"I want to say it Remus, I truly do but…" He grabbed the hand that rested on his cheek and moved it down to rest on his chest, above his heart. "I can't yet, but you have to know that I feel it, that you're…that you're there," he said, pressing the man's hand to his chest.

"I know," Remus said softly. He leant forward and pressed the lightest of kisses to Draco's lips. "You needn't fear. I would be gratified to hear it one day, but for now, I know."

* * *

"Ron thinks I should speak at the parole hearing."

Remus' hand paused as it raked through Draco's hair. "And what are your feelings on the matter?"

Draco sighed and nestled in closer to the man's chest, revelling in the feeling of being held. "I don't know," he said quietly.

Remus continued to card his fingers through Draco's hair as his other hand trailed up and down Draco's arm, the action soothing and familiar, and if his body hadn't been so utterly spent, Draco was sure he'd be hardening almost instantly.

They had spent almost a week in bed, leaving only for essential trips to the bathroom and to make food, which was often taken back to the bedroom to be enjoyed. It was as though a whole new world had been opened up him, and he wanted to experience everything it had to offer. He had never been touched the way Remus touched him, never been held after sex or woken up to a familiar chest pressing against his back the next morning.

It was as if a part of him that he hadn't known existed had suddenly blossomed. He felt more connected to himself, more aware of his own thoughts and feelings and, more importantly, more willing to acknowledge them. He felt safe, he felt protected, and with each caress, whether sexual or not, he felt loved.

"What do you think I should do?" he asked, inching his fingertips over Remus' chest.

"I don't know," Remus answered, and Draco found the honestly refreshing. "If it were me…perhaps I'd feel a need to say something…to put my piece across, but I'm not you." Remus moved his fingers gently through Draco's hair and said softly, "Only you fully know the extent of how you suffered at his hands, it's your private experience, to decide whether it should or shouldn't be shared, whether others should learn what happened to you.

"I think you should consider whether or not it will have an impact on the panel's decision. You feel so strongly about your father staying behind bars…if your testimony could ensure that happens then you should speak, but you should do nothing that will cause you pain or heartache."

Draco smiled into the man's chest and nuzzled against it. "Thank you," he murmured.

"What for?"

"For giving the sort of answer that only you could give."

Draco felt a kiss placed to the top his head and he swelled under the unbridled affection. He had never known affection of the kind that Remus gave him. When he had first formed a friendship with Ron, it had taken him a long time to accept the man's hugs, or to become comfortable with the easy way Ron would sling an arm around his shoulders or nudge his leg playfully during a conversation.

It hadn't been easy, but he had come to take the gestures without question, coming to value them as they were given. Even so, even with all the gentle lessons that Ron had taught him where affection was concerned, he had never received affection from someone he had shared a bed with. The experience was overwhelming, and he drank in every touch as though his life depended on it.

"When is the hearing?" Remus asked.

Draco sighed and said, "Next Monday. I have to be there, whether I testify or not. The thought of seeing him again is…" He trailed off and took a deep breath, trying to remind himself that the odious man wasn't worth upsetting himself over.

"I can be there…if you want me to be."

Draco paused, still his hand's movements across Remus' chest. No one knew about the two of them, no one knew that they had been sleeping together for years, and no one knew now that they were…trying their best to make it something more. If Remus turned up, seemingly out of the blue, to support him at his father's trial, what would it mean? What would people think?

"It was only an offer," Remus said gently, and Draco wondered if the man had been able to guess his thoughts.

It suddenly occurred to him that if this thing with Remus had any chance of working, which he desperately wanted it to, he would have to do the things that normal people who had normal relationships did. First and foremost, people in normal relationships acknowledged their partner and did so proudly to the rest of the world.

Draco tilted his head upwards so that he could meet Remus' eyes and said, "Please come, you have no idea how much it'll mean to me to have you there."

Remus' look of surprise was almost comical, and Draco felt mildly amused that he could throw the man who was normally one step ahead of everyone else. Draco was suddenly rolled onto his back, Remus' body pressing down against his, and his lips were captured in a sweeping and possessive kiss. _There's my wolf_ , Draco thought with a grin as he was pushed into the mattress and Remus began to chase away all thoughts of the hearing, all thoughts of anything that existed beyond them and that room.

* * *

Draco checked his appearance in the mirror for the umpteenth time that morning, straightening out imaginary creases in his robes and brushing his hair behind his ears. His stomach was churning and he hadn't slept well the night before, the dark circles underneath his eyes a testament to that fact.

"Will you not have any breakfast?" Remus asked, and Draco turned around to face him with a wan smile.

"Can't face it," he said, and Remus stood from the table, walking over to stand in front of Draco., taking his hands gently in his own.

"It'll be alright," he said softly. "He's not getting out, you've worked hard to ensure that he never will."

Draco nodded, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. "I have to go and meet Ron in the office before it starts. Are you still…are you going to be there?" he asked.

Remus smiled and raised one hand to brush Draco's cheek. "Of course I will." He paused for a moment then said, "Have you made up your mind about speaking?"

"No," Draco said quietly. "I…I don't know what to do."

"Then wait until you're in the council chamber, let your instinct make the decision for you."

Draco smiled and moved forward to wrap his arms around the man's neck, saying, "Spoken like a true wolf." He leant forward and met Remus' lips in a soft kiss, loving the feeling of Remus' arms tightening around him, feeling safe and protected. Their lips moved lightly against one another's in a kiss that spoke of tenderness and affection rather than heat and passion.

Draco had to wonder at his own stupidity that he had never allowed himself to experience this before. To be kissed with no motive other than to give comfort or to convey warmth was a heady experience and he relished each time it happened. Remus pulled back and looked at him with an expression of considered enquiry.

"It doesn't bother you, does it?" he asked, and at Draco's questioning tilt of his head, elaborated, "The wolf."

Draco smiled and moved his hand across the base of Remus' hairline, saying, "I daresay when I was younger and blinded my father's cruel prejudices it might have done. Now though," he said, his smile turning into a look that was altogether more sensuous, "I find it…incredibly erotic."

"Erotic?" Remus echoed, sounding sceptical.

Draco moved his hands to rest his palms against Remus' chest and said softly, "You're one the gentlest men I've ever known. Everything about you is careful and measured, everything you say, everything you do, tells of a man who guards himself and his actions carefully and yet beneath all that is immeasurable strength and power. In this chest beats the heart of an animal, with all the instincts and impulses of a wild creature and yes, I find that more exciting than I can tell you."

Remus' arms tightened around him and a thrill went through him at the look in the man's eyes. It was hungry and predatory, and Draco was sure that were it not for the time constraints, Remus would be dragging him into the bedroom and claiming him as his own.

"I know Severus' adjustments to the Wolfsbane are revolutionary, and I know that you feel anything is preferable to becoming the wolf, but please reconsider. It's part of you, it's tied in to who you are. I know you're terrified of hurting people, but if you can keep your mind during the transformations but embrace the animal, then you should do so."

Draco paused for a moment, running his hands up and down Remus' strong chest, then said, "There's nothing around here for miles, it's nothing but open and untamed countryside. You could come here every time you turn and just…roam free. Part of you is a wild animal, Remus and it shouldn't be contained. I think…I think you'd be so much freer if you just…accepted the wolf."

Remus' amber eyes were thoughtful and Draco knew he had struck upon something that the man must have given thought to in the past. Offering the cottage for Remus' transformations was the least that he wanted to do; he wanted to beg the man never to leave, to set up home with him in his little haven and give themselves the opportunity to be sickeningly happy. At that moment, though, he didn't have the courage to ask.

"Think about it," he said gently, "the offer's not going anywhere. Neither," he added with a grin, "is my admiration of your wilder side."

* * *

"Would you please sit down?" Ron said as he sat in the waiting lobby outside the council chamber, watching as Draco paced up and down in front of him.

"I can't," Draco said, stopping and bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "I just want this bloody day over and done with. I want to go home safe in the knowledge that that bastard is going to spend the rest of his life rotting in Azkaban."

Ron stood up and placed his hands on Draco's shoulders. "And you will, love, you will. There's no way they're going to grant him parole, not in a million years. You know that it's just his solicitor trying it on, hoping that they might strike lucky with an insanely sympathetic parole board."

Draco nodded and said, "You're right. It's just the thought of having to go through it all, having to see him again."

"This will be last time," Ron said firmly. "Just get through the next hour and we can put it all behind us."

A woman popped her head out of the door to their right and said, "Mr Weasley, Mr Malfoy, the hearing's about to begin, do you want to step inside?"

Ron gave Draco's shoulders a squeeze and said, "Come on, you can do this."

Draco took a deep breath and followed Ron inside the chamber, his stomach lurching when he saw his father in the stand. He stood frozen for a minute, staring at the man who resembled little of the person he had once known. His hair was limp and so pale that it was almost white, his face was gaunt and the robes that he had been granted to wear for the hearing hung from his thin frame. He hadn't expected such a stark difference in the man's appearance and it shook him horribly to come face to face with this new incarnation of his father.

Ron gave him a gentle nudge and he took his seat with him in the gallery. Lucius hadn't spotted that he was there and he hoped it would stay that way. He had no desire to make eye contact with this haggard-looking wraith; he was terrified that his resolve would waver if he allowed the smallest glimmer of sympathy to creep in.

He scanned the rest of the room quickly and felt a beautiful surge of relief hit him when his eyes met Remus'. The man offered him a surreptitious smile and Draco responded in kind, feeling bolstered by his presence in this fraught and hideous situation.

The hearing was efficient and brisk, almost startlingly so, and Draco had to keep his wits about him as he kept up with the pace of things. Lucius didn't speak for himself, instead his lawyer put the case across to the parole board, telling them how Lucius had found himself reformed during his incarceration and had begun to take steps to make amends for all the wrongs he had perpetrated.

Ron and Draco exchanged highly sceptical looks as they heard how Lucius had arranged to donate any funds that hadn't been seized by the Ministry to various post-war charities, and how the man was now committed to his rehabilitation and that of his fellow prisoners.

Several of the people who had submitted written and recorded testimonies to Draco had also been determined to address the parole board directly. They delivered their addresses to the board with passion, and Draco was proud of the strength they showed at being able to speak out against the person who had caused them so much pain and suffering.

Draco glanced to his father as each person spoke against him, but the man's face gave nothing away. He didn't seem worried that their speeches would count against him, nor did he seem ashamed to have his many transgressions brought for all to hear.

When those speaking against him were finished, Lucius' lawyer stood and addressed the board, saying, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Malfoy is aware of each and every one of these…these poor people's claims against him. He admits to them all and is deeply sorry for the pain he has caused. He has instructed me to inform both the board and the people who have suffered so at his hands that an account has been set up with the sole purpose of offering reparation.

"Mr Malfoy is aware that money alone cannot make up for the terrible hurt he has caused, and he would like to sit down with each person affected and personally apologise and begin to make amends for what he has done. He hopes that in doing so he can help his victims find a sense of closure, whilst also helping himself towards taking responsibility for his actions."

Murmurs of approval circulated around the board and Draco's eyes went straight to Lucius and his blood ran cold in his veins. It was only there for the briefest of moments, a look that passed across the man's cold, grey eyes, there one second and gone the next. No one else would have seen it, no one else would have known what it meant, but to Draco, who had seen that look more times than he cared to remember, he knew it was a thrill of triumph.

In that second he didn't see the bedraggled, care-worn prisoner who had suffered through years of torment in a cold cell in Azkaban, he saw his father, as he had been all those years ago. Nothing had changed, there was no remorse, no regret, only the cold, implacable cruelty that Draco had known all his life. His heart thudded, and as the parole board exchanged positive-sounding murmurs, Draco's decision was made for him.

He rose to his feet and all eyes went to him. He faltered slightly under the intense scrutiny, and he immediately sought out Remus. Their eyes met and Remus nodded, the love and support radiating back at him almost overwhelming.

"I'd like to address the board," Draco said, gratified to find that his voice sounded strong.

"Mr Malfoy," said the head of the board, "you wish to speak on behalf of your father?"

"No ma'am," Draco said firmly, "I wish to speak against him." Whispers circulated through the room but Draco stood firm and the woman gestured for him to speak.

Draco took a few breaths to steady himself while he gathered his thoughts, then said, "Lucius Malfoy is the coldest, cruellest man you could ever have the misfortune of meeting. He is prejudiced, bigoted and has no thought or regard for any person other than himself. The man is not capable of rehabilitation, nor of remorse, and I guarantee that if released he will pose just as great a threat as he did before his imprisonment.

"You may be asking yourselves how a son could speak against his father in such a manner. I stand here and tell you now that there are 26 scars on my body, all of which were inflicted by that man standing in front of you. Furthermore…" he trailed off, his hands shaking and his mouth dry. He paused, steadying himself, then held his head high and said, "Furthermore, he paid a man to rape me while he watched in an effort to cure me of my homosexuality."

Horrified mutterings shot around the council chamber, but Draco stood firm against them, keeping his head up and meeting the eyes of the board members as they looked at him. He could feel Remus' eyes on him and it gave him strength.

"I urge you now to consider the kind of man you could set loose," he said, "I urge you to consider the cruel savagery this man is capable of. He deserves to rot in hell for the things he has done to me and to countless others besides and if you decide to set him free, you will be guilty of gross negligence and a serious dereliction of duty."

He took his seat once again and Ron reached for his hand, squeezing it gently.

"Thank you Mr Malfoy," said the head of the board, "you can be assured that we will take your statement into account when we make our decision. We shall now retire to consider our verdict."

People stood and began to file out of the room, and Ron leant over and whispered, "Let's get you out of here."

Draco nodded and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, refusing to look back towards his father. He wouldn't give the man the satisfaction, he wouldn't stoop so low as to acknowledge his existence.

The corridor was cooler than the chamber had been, and Draco leant against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. He heard the noise of the crowd from the chamber passing by him, then heard Ron say,

"Hello love."

He opened his eyes to see Harry greeting Ron with a kiss, then turn to him and say,

"You were amazing in there Drake. Honestly, that was one of the bravest things I've ever seen."

Draco would never admit it, but to hear Harry refer to him as brave made his heart swell with pride. He smiled and said, "Thanks Harry. I just hope it wasn't all for nothing. Surely the board couldn't be taken in by the reformed prisoner act?"

"Not after your testimony," Ron said firmly. "There's no way they'd grant him parole after hearing that."

"I saw it," Draco said, feeling sick. "I saw the look in his eye and I knew that he was still the same man, that no part of him had changed. I had to say something…I had to make them see…"

"They will," Harry said, "they're not stupid. I think that…oh…I didn't know Remus was here," he said as he caught sight of the man walking down the corridor towards them.

He looked a little hesitant as he approached, but as he met Draco's eyes, Draco smiled and Remus seemed to take this as his cue to join them.

"Hi Remus," Harry said warmly. "What are you doing here?"

Remus went to reply but Draco beat him to it, realising that he wanted nothing more than to acknowledge the man who had given him such strength. "He's here for me," he said gently but with confidence. "He came to support me because he loves me and…I love him," he said, dimly aware of Harry and Ron's shocked faces, but focusing only on Remus' look of pleased surprise.

He moved forward and took hold of Remus' hands, holding them tightly and saying, "I love you, and if it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have been able to stand up in there and say what I did." He paused and tried to gather his jumble of thoughts together, tried to make them sound pretty and polished, but it was all he could do to get them out in the first place. "I want everything Remus, I want you, I want _us_."

Remus' face blossomed into the most beautiful smile Draco had ever seen and his heart swelled to see it. "That's really what you want?" Remus asked gently.

"I do," Draco said without hesitation. "I love you," he said, feeling a thrill run through him at saying it again, amazed that he was capable of saying it in the first place.

"I love you too," Remus said, before pulling him into a warm and tender kiss. Draco was dimly aware of Ron and Harry catcalling them but at that moment all he could focus on was the man who was kissing him, the man he had lost his heart to.

* * *

Draco sat in one of the armchairs in front of the fire in his cottage and placed the letter he had been reading on the table beside him. He had kept in touch with several of the people he had interviewed and who had spoken against his father at the parole hearing, and one young woman in particular was especially vociferous in her assertion that but for Draco's speech, Lucius would now be a free man.

He glanced across to the little table underneath the window and smiled as he watched his husband ease his neck back and forth as he paused in preparing his lesson plans for the newest student he had acquired. Remus had been twitchy all day and Draco knew the reason for it.

That night was the first of the full moon and Remus could feel the transformation coursing through his veins, ready to turn him, ready to claim him. He was finally starting to accept the wolf and, as a result, was flourishing. He had stopped trying to suppress the transformations, stopped trying to deny the part of his nature that was as impossible to deny as his own sexuality, and now when the full moon rose, he ran free.

He retained his mind when he became the wolf, but it was tempered by the animal's natural instincts, by its need for freedom and its love of the wild. He roamed the miles and miles of countryside that lay beyond the cottage, running free and reaping the benefits such freedom brought.

Draco couldn't help but grin as he thought of the benefits that he also got to enjoy. After a night running wild, Remus would return to the cottage as the sun rose, becoming human once more as he crossed the threshold. The wolf still governed him though, even as he was once in his own skin again, and there was only one thing on his mind when he returned to the cottage.

He would head straight for the bedroom and pause in the doorway for a second, waiting for Draco to stir, to realise that he was there, then he would prowl the edge of the bed before waiting to pounce. He would claim his husband, marking him as his own with an intensity that always took Draco's breath away. In those moments he forgot his own name as Remus pinned him to the bed and made love to him in that unique way that only a wolf could have managed, in a way that told of desperate passion mixed with the sweetest, all-consuming love.

Draco sighed and rested his head against the back of his armchair, twisting the delicate wedding band that adorned his finger. Sometimes it seemed too good to be true, sometimes he had to pause to take stock of his situation and truly appreciate it. He never thought that he would know contentment, that he would find someone who knew his soul better than he did and who could soothe it accordingly.

Occasionally he was struck by the thought that, were it not for Remus' bravery, they wouldn't have come to that point, they wouldn't have found happiness with one another.

Remus looked across at him and smiled and Draco felt his own lips curve upwards in response. He loved his husband more than he was capable of expressing, and he was thankful that Remus often didn't need him to.

"The sun will be going down soon," he said softly, and Remus nodded, looking pleased by the prospect. Much had changed, Draco ruminated. "I hate sleeping without you on these nights," he said, adding with a grin, "but I love having you back the next morning."

Remus stood and crossed the room to pull Draco to his feet. "Be sure you're ready for me in the morning, love. It's a cold, clear night out there and it makes the wolf more potent than usual. I'll be…more on edge than normal tomorrow."

Draco smiled and wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, pulling his body up as close as he could to his husband's, revelling in the contact. "I'll be ready, you can count on that."

He pulled Remus down into a sweeping kiss, feeling Remus' body answer to his own, a taste of things to come the following morning. Draco broke away and moved his lips to Remus' ear, his voice the ghost of a whisper as he said, "I'd never let my wolf down."


End file.
